Regret has wrapped its many tentacled grip around me and I often waken with dreams of its creation. With the business of exams and end of semester evaluations, I don’t have time to address this roaming bottom feeder of the mind, so I move into the light of progress ignoring its suckers holding, clinging, waiting for some acknowledgement.
I do not share this story of regret. I can’t. Not now anyway. It is a story where, even in its creation, I looked away and told myself another story. I could not bear the experience of the moment, lacked the strength to admit to the story, but it is here with me, even now, binding me to a contract of accountability.
It is my usual inclination to do research, so I look for escape from this octopus and find advice from a post on “Worst Case Scenario”.
Peel, detach, turn, and swim, always upwards to towards the surface where there is air and light and joy. For now, I’m going to avoid this slithering beast of regret and enjoy this somersault into new learning letting go of old beasts, old myths which linger.