(Another writing alongside my students today.)
My eyes are making life difficult.
I notice the messages they are sending, but why are they so angry and on the verge of spilling tears? Each morning, I reach for the Visine, soothe them sometimes with drops for dry eyes, bathe them with warm water and then cold water, but there is still no change, no relief. Each visit to the mirror finds me examining the maps appearing in the white region, rivers of red veins, spidering out in all directions, but clustered near the tear duct, where debris settles into a cavernous space. The lids have formed a coalition with gravity and I exercise them lifting with my mouth, widening both in tandem.
This morning my right eye started acting up deciding to march to a different beat. It seemed to pixelate and I remembered a colleague telling me this is an ocular migraine – a rogue defender of the oculus realm. I couldn’t follow the words on the page, my most favourite time of the day, and I couldn’t find peace with this rebellion taking place.
Listening seems to be a path towards some truce in “this moment” – so many moments that I realize the irritation is the signal. I tell myself, “read the maps in your eyes, listen to the swelling resistance – these parts seeking sovereignty and wanting no part in this grinding pace.”
Thinking in a White Room 
I feel every word of this eye pain. Honestly, it’s scary. Have you consulted an ophthalmologist? Some of your symptoms make me wonder about your cornea.
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Oh…no. Actually I hadn’t considered this. I thought it was just because I’m so tired and so constantly reading things online. I currently have 60 grade 12 university English students and the taste is unrelenting.
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Make an appointment. Scratchy eyes all the time, floaters, and such can also indicate a detached retina. You may have scratched your cornea. You could have an infection and not know it. That happened to me when I was 12, and it did a lot of damage to my sight.
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😳
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Yikes – eyes can be very delicate and the smallest thing can scratch them or irritate them. I used to get pink eye or scratched corneas quite a bit but now that I don’t work with little ones, my eyes are healthier. Maybe just sit with a cold cloth on them to see how they like to rest. They could be very dry.
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Thank you for this! I’ll definitely try this suggestion 🙏
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The poetic craft of this slice wows me. I’m sorry that your eyes are troubling you, The words you’ve chosen to illustrate the nature of that trouble are rich, layered, ideal. ““read the maps in your eyes, listen to the swelling resistance” – simply fabulous!
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Oh do get those babies checked out! I endured a similar situation a few weeks back – not exact, but… It turns out I had a scratched cornea. I, too, was chalking it up to being online ALL THE TIME. Care and regular ointment applications later, eyes are back. Good luck!
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Will do…that seems to be something I should pay attention to. Thank you 🙏
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What a powerful piece of writing. I can feel the discomfort of your eyes.
(As others have mentioned, go see an Optometrist. Hopefully it is nothing, and all you do is buy some really good eye drops from them)
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After reading your description I too diagnosed you with “too much screen time”. It does make sense! I hope you’ll have a real doctor check though. Hopefully you can take the weekend off and let your eyes (and brain and everything else!) rest.
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Mel, don’t guess when it comes to your eyes! Sight is so important especially in your profession.
Please please run to a specialist, I am afraid to ask when you were last seen by an Optician?
I may have to speak to George…
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They’re fine ☺️ I see one every year amd I’m just tired 👍
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